Short Mind Muscle Flex

Memories become instincts
Lies become regrets
A lot does the heart forgive
That the mind cannot forget
A wound that heals with time
Time can open up again
Memories become instincts
Lies become regrets

Te Extraño

I miss lying on your belly,
my head rising and falling with your breathing,
ears flooded with the sound of your heart beating.
Mind at peace, far off, dreaming

Safe and sound in concerted breathing.

Today, the lonely beat of my heart
labored and heavy
is sometimes...
too, too, too, too, heavy.

Even though I thought
somehow I was prepared
for this dark day.
Somehow.... ready.

Today like the first day,
again,
I feel it.
My heart’s just not in this life
without your breathing.

oracion meditacion

BE STILL AND KNOW THAT I AM GOD
BE STILL AND KNOW THAT I AM
BE STILL AND KNOW THAT I
BE STILL AND KNOW THAT
BE STILL AND KNOW
BE STILL AND
BE STILL
BE.

This I learned a couple of years ago in my practical philosophy class. Learning to sit silently with your inner self behooves everyone. In the first line "God" can be whomever you want him/her to be, but the point is that this being is inside you, as you sit still you find it. The second line you sit with the thought that you and that god both just are. The third line invites you to know that and feel that inner "I" your spirit.  The rest is self explanatory.

I dont break.

This year I lost so much I stopped recognizing my self. The stranger that remains, is who I really am. I dont need to mold her. She just is. She is true. She exists. She is nothing like I thought I was. Or like I so badly wanted to pretend to be.

I'm not that good. I'm ok with the occassional lie. All is fair in love and war and I like the ugly in life. I know we all gotta do what we gotta do to get by. I'm ok with hairless tongues, sharp ones, either side. I've taken lashings before, many, and I've survived. I am ok with being estranged from my mother. I even feel more at peace for it.

I can act, without judging me . I can just be             with no words to follow. Because I dont fit into them.

I have nothing left to fear. So maybe you should be afraid. I know a few that may have dreaded this day. Shit, so did I. Because here, there are no excuses and no where to hide my shine.

I am not afraid to make you squirm. I will not mute what I came here to exude. I am not afraid of your anticipated discomforts. I am not afraid to savour the moments that bring me the most joy, a gargle of juice from my man's loins; the power my thighs have over these boys. 

I am not afraid to be misunderstood. I am not afraid to be politely mean; or a charming bitch; or a bad bitch; me.

I am not afraid to be kind. I am not afraid of your little lies. I am not a fool for being generous with my affections. I'll be damned if love wont reign over my life, over and above pain.

I dont break.

I am not afraid of love. I am not afraid of hate.

I dont break.

I am not afraid to fall and taste little grains of dirt as my face hits pavement
because

I dont break.

I've already been down there.

I dont break.

They fall short.

I was in the way.

But you couldn't tell me.

Instead you chose
wise word swords
with which to cut me down

cold straight stares
with which to burn me up

hazy rumor swirls,
and manipulations.

They left me sore.

No, yours was not the prose of Love. 

Your verses, adjectives, verbs, nouns...,
could only do so much.

The truth is more.

"The Truth doesn't make a sound."

IRREGULAR beats.

My heart beat's a little sore.
But it still wants more...

love     love     love

Naive little thing,
is that all you move for?

Silly cynisisms fall of to the side
and one answer beats forth

love    love    love

LOVE?....OF COURSE.

cum.

I came here to spread love
unity,
a path.

I came here to share myself

and truths
that last.

I came here to break chains
and defy
norms of living.

I came here to warm
a few hearts.
To inspire giving.

I came here to light fires with my ways.

I came here
to leave
a little stain that says

"Here
I
came."