I dont break.

This year I lost so much I stopped recognizing my self. The stranger that remains, is who I really am. I dont need to mold her. She just is. She is true. She exists. She is nothing like I thought I was. Or like I so badly wanted to pretend to be.

I'm not that good. I'm ok with the occassional lie. All is fair in love and war and I like the ugly in life. I know we all gotta do what we gotta do to get by. I'm ok with hairless tongues, sharp ones, either side. I've taken lashings before, many, and I've survived. I am ok with being estranged from my mother. I even feel more at peace for it.

I can act, without judging me . I can just be             with no words to follow. Because I dont fit into them.

I have nothing left to fear. So maybe you should be afraid. I know a few that may have dreaded this day. Shit, so did I. Because here, there are no excuses and no where to hide my shine.

I am not afraid to make you squirm. I will not mute what I came here to exude. I am not afraid of your anticipated discomforts. I am not afraid to savour the moments that bring me the most joy, a gargle of juice from my man's loins; the power my thighs have over these boys. 

I am not afraid to be misunderstood. I am not afraid to be politely mean; or a charming bitch; or a bad bitch; me.

I am not afraid to be kind. I am not afraid of your little lies. I am not a fool for being generous with my affections. I'll be damned if love wont reign over my life, over and above pain.

I dont break.

I am not afraid of love. I am not afraid of hate.

I dont break.

I am not afraid to fall and taste little grains of dirt as my face hits pavement
because

I dont break.

I've already been down there.

I dont break.